Friday, March 30, 2007

Aku boring ; kau tak tau ke?

You Are 73% Indie

You're a very indie person, and admit it, you look down a little on people who strive to be normal.
You'll indulge in a little mainstream pop culture every now and then. But for you, anything not indie is a guilty pleasure!
Er; yes I look down at people who strive to be normal some times. But then again ; when everyone is different ; where is the fun in there? =)

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.

You were well rounded and well liked in high school.
Well liked? I don't think so.


Your Personality is Very Rare (INTJ)

Your personality type is logical, uncompromising, independent, and nonconformist.

Only about 3% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 4% of all men.
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging.
Haa? You tell me.

Your Worry Factor is 66%

The amount you worry is definitely borderline unhealthy.
Even when things are going well, you find yourself fixating on the negatives.
Try to remember the times you've been able to let your worries go.
If you can do that again, you'll be much happier!
=)


The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.
Maybe yes. But tell me ; DO YOU REALLY KNOW YOURSELF? If you do; tell me how.


OK enough for these blog quizzes. I can roughly tell where the questions are leading. Let me tell you ; how far do you trust all these things? Maybe mostly are true. But how certified and proven are these questions by the professionals? I'm not denying its fun at times to do and discover the inner you. I do this rarely. Its because boredom strikes me early in the morning, and mom is already nagging about my pc addictions. OK back to my headphone and paper.


Selamat Pagi Malaysia.



Pagi pagi makan chips more.

"Kau ni asyik main + berendut je, macam mana kau nak amik PhD kak?"
Mother.



Thursday, March 29, 2007

My Morning Coffee.

For days I haven't exactly been waking up at the crack of dawn ; you know performing my Subuh prayer and all. So I did it with the help of my trusty alarm clock - adikku sayang. Since he was going to school and all ; I figured why not? Because I know myself well ; better than you at least - I wouldn't wake to the sound of my alarm clock after days of eight o'clock rise and shine. And to top it up ; my alarm clock is very annoying. Its called the speaking clock and it goes like this ; "The time is 6.45 ; its time for you to wake up". Corny? Hell yeah.

So anyway, after my prayer, I set my alarm to half and hour later. But as usual, being me, I can't sleep so I basically lay down on the bed ; listing down things to bring to campus next week which somehow the list is all mixed up again in my head. Thinking about my blog . . because it is so out of line with my life. Its not coherent ; get what I mean?

I'm not going to fill you in more about my life. You want to know? Fill your life first dear.

FIRST LOVE.

As you know ; malaya genius' latest movie, Mukhsin is based on her first love story. And to go between the lines; read her blog. Mukhsin part 2 ; is so beautifully written.

If you have been following my blog religiously, you would know I once said that love is too vague, too abstract. How would you know that is love? What more your first love?

For most cases, first love happened when you were young. How young is young? Is it 10 like little Orked? Or is it you high school years like the girl in Winter Sonata?

So tell me ; for your case, is it with the boy next door - the one that you play with running around the house when you were 3? And you don't lose sleep over it but he is still plastered at the back of your mind. And yes you do catch up every once in a while, but you just lose the topic to talk about - not like the "when we were young" days.

Or is it when you were turning your path in to the melodramatic world of the adolescents? The one that you spend hours of the night on the phone with, the one that will backfire your philosophy with his and the list goes on. But this, this you lose sleep over it, you travel half way around the world wondering Why. And it is plastered on your mind, in your heart, in your words, thoughts etc. Too in to deep? It is the fact.

You see, now you can probably tell the whole story about my life. Maybe, if you're good enough. But what actually defines first love? Aku tak faham betul dengan dunia ni. Adoi. Too technical is more like it.

Anyhoo ; tell me what do you think please? You should enlighten me with your thoughts because mine are so well mixed like the rojak. Thank you very much.

SHAH ALAM the land of (insert your stereotyping towards Shah Alam here).

I apologize if you're from Shah Alam and you have to read this. I'm sorry that I have stereotyping about your hometown ; I just can't help it. So I've been growing up with the fact that ; Shah Alam is pretty much 99% filled with bumiputera. Nothing against it of course, I'm a bumi anyway. Its just that ; OK better not said here - dangerous field. Next thing you know, when I post my complete thoughts online, I would appear in the front page of your morning papers. And its sad to know that you wouldn't even know about me in the papers because you don't even read the papers. Cheers. So anyway, one more thing about Shah Alam is ; ROUNDABOUTS.

But now, I have one more thing to add into my list of stereotyping. I was at PKNS' Pejabat POS Malaysia, to buy this wang pos for this whole biasiswa thing. Restless; I sat for the minute, then I was standing the next. Only Allah knows how pack the place is ; worse than the sardines in a can I would say. So listening to my mp3, I couldn't care less about the hot juicy gossip the kakak kakak next to me were chatting about. Then there this old, short, FAT man. Not that old, around 40-ish. He came up to me. So I thought he wanted to use the counter as I was leaning against the counter. So I moved. Then he waved a No sign. OK understood PAK CIK. So I leaned against the counter once more.

Then I saw his mouth mumbling . . I pulled my earphones and said ;
"Ye?"

"Student ke?"

"Ha ye"

"UITM?"

Reality check PAKCIK ; just because I'm in Shah Alam, doesn't mean I go to UITM. Just because its near.

"Tak, NIC."

"Uish jauhnya."

"Ha ye"

"Tengah cuti ke?"

"Ye"

"Ambil apa?"

"American degree program , major in psychology."

"Uish", Imagine a FAT, OLD, SHORT MAN'S shock face.

What? DO I LOOK STUPID AND INCAPABLE OF DOING THAT? ONE THING'S FOR SURE, I THINK I KNOW HELL A LOT MORE ABOUT THE WORLD THAN YOU. Maybe even about OUR COUNTRY PAKCIK.

"=)"

"By the way, nama siapa?" Offering his hand for mine.

Not to be rude, "respecting" an older dude, suit to be my father I reluctantly held my hand.

"______"

"Sham."

Then I told my mom about it. My mom was like, MID LIFE CRISIS. Men and their mid life crisis.

But to me ; I added one more thing to my stereotype list ;
Shah Alam is much much more than the roundabouts and its population.
ITS A PEDOPHILE LAND.

Stupid pedophiles.


TEEN CONCERNS.

Read the FRONT PAGE of The Star newspaper dated today. Sad thing its not about me. Its about you! LUCKY YOU.

How sorry I feel for these youngsters. They don't have a friend from another race. (You might add this to the subtopic above.) I mean ; COME ON, we LIVE in MALAYSIA. Bodoh, kau tak ada kawan lain bangsa sebab takut kena jangkit penyakit? WTF? Oh my God, if they don't know the values of reciting in Malaysia, might as well you leave for another country.

We Malaysians are one. Its called the Bangsa Malaysia.

Trust me, read your sejarah text book religiously. Bloody good impact for you and the nation.


I rest my case. kcajgnipmuj to be called. =)


"Don't ever change you hungry little bashful hound
I got the sheep, poor little Bo Peep
Has lost and filed for grounds."

Friday, March 23, 2007

You, me and everyone else.

It's such a waste.

It's such a waste to know that Malaysians do make good movies but us Malaysians have no chance at all to watch them. Just because it's all about racism, politics etc. You know Malaysia being really sensitive about all these. But it's such a waste like ; Apa khabar orang kampung has been to the Berlin International Awards and even Singaporeans get to watch it, but not us Malaysians. I mean where is the fun in that? We need to support our root. Its like the whole support system. Just like how your receptors detect any changes in your body, and how your hormones cure them. It is all part of being a Malaysian, and it is our 50th anniversary after 1957. In case you're too dumb to be a Malaysian, and you don't event read your sejarah text book religiously, 1957 is the year we gained our independence from the British. I'm not whining about how not blessed I am. I'm just complaining on WHY CAN'T I WATCH GOOD MALAYSIAN MOVIES? Despite Yasmin Ahmad's which is screened in the cinemas. Good movies like the ones that made it to International Screens. That's what I'm talking about. You know like ; The Washing Machine kind of thing? I mean like ; HELLO? Grrr. Not fair-lah! And all we get to watch is the the "good" Malaysian movies like; Ramp-it ( WTF!? ), Chermin ( GOD KNOWS HOW SUCKY ITS GOING TO BE ). Or maybe I'm just not a horror movie kind of a person. I just think its stupid, and it's a waste of make-up. You want to talk about horror kid? Lets talk about the horror stepping into public toilets of Malaysia.

Gila busuk siot.

That's a real life horror.

Lari lah kau lintang pukang dari kejutan yang ditinggalkan oleh orang sebelum kau. Adoi. Parah.

Wish list ; wish list.

I was flipping through the Star, sipping coffee in the morning, reading about the Nation and the world. Pages after pages about elections, George W. Bush etc.

Sea-monkeys.

It is so familiar, then I decided to recall what are they. NOW, I WANT THEM! :(


MAGIC SEA-MONKEYS!!


B, I want magic sea-monkeys lah! Later we go buy ok?


Here's to the night ; we felt alive.

You know those dreadful long days that you feel to do nothing but write awfully long long posts that make your readers' eyes pop their way out and make them skip lines. Anyway, as time flies, you would realize my posts are slow just like watching your file transfer bar every second. No posts. Refresh button. No posts. And I think I know why. You know when you have this philosophical buddy to talk to and you just exchange point of views? I think that pretty much is the answer to my lack posts. I've found my long lost philosophical buddy. Its just a thing that we do, chatting about schizophrenics or about how the world is evolving or how and why is it that way? I guess 3 years of philosophical talks and different point of views, it pretty much made me the way I am today. So thank you for the lovely talks ; you know who you are. And we shall continue, for many years to come. Therefore, because all my thoughts are verbally out to my loyal reader-cum-listener, I pretty much don't have anything left for the world.

I have outgrown my words; I feel like just another uninspired blog author. You know the ones that go all hyped out at first, but now, they're just dead.








Sunday, March 18, 2007

I'm Shakin;

When is the last time you were actually afraid when your mother threat you?

No more outings if you pass this curfew ; grounded.

Let me tell you the differences between you and I;

When your parents screwed up ; you blame them.

Its not the way its suppose to be my dear friend, it will go on forever if it goes like that. No one is to blame. Maybe there is ; but putting the whole world on your parents shoulders is not a wise decision. Because when you tend to blame them, you would screw your life as well. Can't you see how will this be? No ending. You will get lost in this seductive world, you will tend to toast your bad doings to your parents failures. Well look through the thick glass ; if you were in their shoes, you would probably end up worse. Its even worse when you are a parent, I would laugh my bloody ass off if you fail to be a good parent, what more a great one.
Its like eating blizzard ice-cream in the car, and nobody cares about the mess you make.
Not having someone to tell you what not to do, is not the greatest thing at all. Look how the Finches and Augusten Burroughs led their lives. They even made a bloody hole in the kitchen's ceiling for God's sake. It eats you up inside faster than anything else.


OK, you may say its a blank post, and its not worth your bloody precious time reading, since I'm also blank.

If you're proud to be a Malaysian, you ought to read " Honk! If you're a Malaysian" by Lydia Teh. Looses up your tense nerves.

I've spent my hours in Borders, discovering books that great minds have written. Its such a good way to spend your long hours of the day, especially with your other half. When you're out of quarters and cash to purchase books, you spend your day in a bookstore. What more can you ask for? Then it hit me. If you ought to be a writer, an author etc; you've to own a BLOODY GREAT MIND. Let me tell you why, there are TONS of books in the two floors bookstore. That is not even EVERY book in the whole world. And there is a lot of book sections. OK maybe it wouldn't be that bad when you have narrow down the book genre. But, let me ask you; if you're in the Classic section, why would you choose Jane Austen over Charlotte Bronte?

Then, you would say, it all depends on the eye beholder. But let me tell you this; market strategy. You need to give a brilliant synopsis and eye catching book cover. Ignore the phrase ; don't judge a book by its cover. It only works on a great reader. I bet you're only a good one, just like me. Its just how the brain works. These nerves. The whole system. But when you're dealing with a great reader, you need to have a brilliant mind, thoughts, vocab etc. Because the great readers are your asset. They are the ones that would recommend you to the world, generations after generations. Look where Shakespeare is now. Not in his grave. OK maybe he is in his grave, all rot and in ashes form. But look where is he standing in this whole poem/play business. Way up at the top. His name is still among us. Even after the whole Victorian era. Why would you read someone who says "thou love by the book" in this hip and casual era? Then the Malaysians invented Manglish for nothing. You can simply say, "Skema-lah". Why take the whole twisted and complicated way when you can say it with one word? Its the art of it my dear readers.


<3

Always love.



You sat down next to me; like poetry to wine.




Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Aku berazam ;

Aku berazam nak tulis blog.

Good day my faithful readers. I know I've not been spilling beans into your bowl for ages. And probably you people out there are giving up on reading my blog page. The decision is all yours honey. One thing is for sure, I know I have a super loyal reader. So if you already have given up attempts reading my outdated blog, then why are you still reading this? So anyway, I do not know why suddenly I have this sudden urge to blog. Maybe its because its so outdated. I do not want you to think I've failed in pursue of my "writing career". Not pursuing the professional field anyway. Just an emergency door out of the real world. Heck, if I ought to pursue the professional field, I don't think I would make that far out. I got a bloody A2 for my Gce-O. But for the SPM level; A1. Boo. Not good enough.

Budak Melayu ini tak pandai dalam Bahasa Malaysia.

You know the art of socializing? It works amazingly. Unfortunately; I'm not a big fan to socialize. Maybe its just not in the genes. At least in my mother's blood. It gets really technical in the head. You know when you think real hard to start a topic. Like what's irrelevant and what's not. And I'm the person who chooses what to tell to strangers and to my closed pals. You just have to draw lines. Some times I understand why. But most of the time, I don't get it. When you did draw a line, then there's nothing left to discuss. Of course there is, about our nation and the world. But that's more like talking to an adult. Only a handful of the youngsters nowadays read the papers. Music topic? Totally not to be touched. I'm not interested in knowing youngsters yang terhegeh-hegeh konon dengar Brit Music. And this topic is only to be discussed with closed pals. Books? Certain people. Movies? I only watch certain movies. Very fussy - contradicts to my "not a big fuss" line. And if you outgrow your circle of friends, it would be rather difficult to keep everyone in the circle. You wouldn't have time to keep in touch and live at the same time. Specially now you're in college. Do you get the picture I'm trying to paint here? Lets say you're already in college, and you meet new closed friends then what happened to your old ones? Like losing the smoke you've exhaled few seconds ago. I mean, I'm sure little by little, your secrets would be out. Just like you did it back with your high school mates. And the circle goes on. Fades through time. Your secrets are probably scattered all over the world. So much for being a secret. Maybe its easier to outgrow your circle of friends, but don't lure them into this inner circle. Like what you did to your high school mates. Keep them at pace; these high school mates. They're the one that grew up with you anyway. I'm sure they're willing to see how your garden grows.
If you're against my theory or rather philosophy, or whatever you think I'm trying to sketch here; it's a free country. I didn't know socializing was hard. I thought it was as easy as going to the field and kick balls playing soccer with the neighborhood boys and probably a girl.

Its not the mens' world ; its ours too ladies.

That's all for now dear loyal readers, got to talk to Allah and send him some prayers.


Be merry.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

*(^&%&*_



"My name is Mukhsin;
You look very nice today."



Blank and malas mode.





Wednesday, March 07, 2007

SCHOOL'S OUT.

Let me enlighten my faithful readers (which by the way I thought I didn't have any ; mostly are my friends anyway. One way to get connected. ) with my a little bit hectic ( ok maybe as you go on, its not so hectic - not at all).

One thing is for sure ; I got to know when to put semicolons, commas and periods.

To my faithful readers ;

Its true when they said internet is a necessity. However, to my mother's eyes, internet is an addictive thing that keeps her daughter apart from her academics. Maybe her son too, soon. So anyway, I think its partially a necessity. On the other hand, my mother is right at some point. Because apparently, my life revolves around computers. And God knows why. Let me tell you, I wake up at 6 in the morning. Well 15 more minutes to 7 am to be exact. Then I talked to Allah. Then have my shower, make myself a mug of coffee + milk. And voila ; I'm in front of the computer. To certain extend; I think I need to get a life. But you know what? I do have a life. Its just that, I don't watch the boob tube - its another name for the TV in case you are thinking about that certain part. The boob tube name was given to the TV ages ago because it was in a shape of tube. Why boob? I'd have to look that part up. But now, the television sets are so flat you can even write on it. OK maybe not. But you certainly can do ridiculous stunts with your TV set, like Augusten Burroughs and the Finch family - where they watch the tilt TV set in the living room eating Dog biscuits. So anyway, my whole point is, i feel out of touch with the world for the past 3 days since I wasn't in tact with the internet because of the absence of my laptop in campus. Because apparently, I had to study for my finals.

White Lilies Island ;

Finals went pretty OK I guess. I know I screwed my Microeconomics; ECO - 140. Bloody ATC, AVC and AFC. 7 or less of marks are gone. But the MCQ was pretty OK. Why am I telling you this again? Its so irrelevant and you probably don't even care if I ace or flunk it. So anyway, finals are over and that leads to one thing : SCHOOL'S OUT. But how long? I don't even know whether I'm coming back for next semester for ADP. Mama wants me to go Australia instead of the States. Me? States States States! But I don't want to go States half-heartedly. So yeah, I don't know what now? Australia? Foundation in a neighborhood college then to Australia. States? ADP in NIC, 2009 for States? I might just end up in Malaysia for my degree. (ZZZZ) Whatever it is ; MONDAY THE 12TH OF MARCH 2007. So much for an island of white lilies.

OK its 17 minutes to 9am. And I'm going to get myself a chocolate sandwich and read about the Nation and the World. I'll keep you at pace with my thoughts later ; it's to stiff to be flexible right now.

Mr. Blue,
Don't hold your head so low
That you can't see the sky
Mr. Blue,
It ain't so long since you were flying high
Mr. Blue,
I told you that I love you
Please believe me




P/S : Joel, Shamini, I KNOW LAH MUKHSIN COMING OUT - TOMORROW OK!!!!! *SCREAMS + JUMPS + ER?*

SCHOOL'S OUT.

Let me enlighten my faithful readers (which by the way I thought I didn't have any ; mostly are my friends anyway. One way to get connected. ) with my a little bit hectic ( ok maybe as you go on, its not so hectic - not at all).

One thing is for sure ; I got to know when to put semicolons, commas and periods.

To my faithful readers ;

Its true when they said internet is a necessity. However, to my mother's eyes, internet is an addictive thing that keeps her daughter apart from her academics. Maybe her son too, soon. So anyway, I think its partially a necessity. On the other hand, my mother is right at some point. Because apparently, my life revolves around computers. And God knows why. Let me tell you, I wake up at 6 in the morning. Well 15 more minutes to 7 am to be exact. Then I talked to Allah. Then have my shower, make myself a mug of coffee + milk. And voila ; I'm in front of the computer. To certain extend; I think I need to get a life. But you know what? I do have a life. Its just that, I don't watch the boob tube - its another name for the TV in case you are thinking about that certain part. The boob tube name was given to the TV ages ago because it was in a shape of tube. Why boob? I'd have to look that part up. But now, the television sets are so flat you can even write on it. OK maybe not. But you certainly can do ridiculous stunts with your TV set, like Augusten Burroughs and the Finch family - where they watch the tilt TV set in the living room eating Dog biscuits. So anyway, my whole point is, i feel out of touch with the world for the past 3 days since I wasn't in tact with the internet because of the absence of my laptop in campus. Because apparently, I had to study for my finals.

White Lilies Island ;

Finals went pretty OK I guess. I know I screwed my Microeconomics; ECO - 140. Bloody ATC, AVC and AFC. 7 or less of marks are gone. But the MCQ was pretty OK. Why am I telling you this again? Its so irrelevant and you probably don't even care if I ace or flunk it. So anyway, finals are over and that leads to one thing : SCHOOL'S OUT. But how long? I don't even know whether I'm coming back for next semester for ADP. Mama wants me to go Australia instead of the States. Me? States States States! But I don't want to go States half-heartedly. So yeah, I don't know what now? Australia? Foundation in a neighborhood college then to Australia. States? ADP in NIC, 2009 for States? I might just end up in Malaysia for my degree. (ZZZZ) Whatever it is ; MONDAY THE 12TH OF MARCH 2007. So much for an island of white lilies.

OK its 17 minutes to 9am. And I'm going to get myself a chocolate sandwich and read about the Nation and the World. I'll keep you at pace with my thoughts later ; it's to stiff to be flexible right now. Cheers.


P/S : Joel, Shamini, I KNOW LAH MUKHSIN COMING OUT - TOMORROW OK!!!!! *SCREAMS + JUMPS + ER?*