KBKK bersama Jane.

Most of the time, they preach us to be objective. Simply because, being subjective is never-ending. An open-ended lead. Since school, we were taught to be objective. We never really had those mind provoking subjects. They gave us questions that sounded like, "Pada pendapat anda.." but in marking, its how rationale and how well you've applied your "norm" answers. If you answer has sense in it, and you have provided strong your points are, it does not matter. Because the text books do not allow.

KBKK. Kemahiran befikir secara kritis dan kritikal.

However, this has nothing to do with our Education system.

One's definition to a word differ significantly from various aspects as he/she has varied factors that are contributing in his/her life. For example, when one approaches the term truth. what really is truth?

Take psychology for example. In psychology, we have different approaches to it. For example, we have the biological approach where the traits, hormones and such play significant role to the event. This could be more to the physical approach - based merely on science. Hence, the whole question of body-mind-soul question would be answered merely based on scientific facts and the proofs that are held in one's anatomy. Correspondence Theory. Whatever that are based on facts and science. But through this approach, could they explain the mind entity? The one that is not really located in the brain itself. Does this mind really have a home?

Ironic really, especially when we talk about psychology and the mind (correspondence theory).

Then we have the pragmatic theory to the truth. This functional truth, does not apply merely based on facts or science nor does it apply only after it has a coherence with other statements. But this functional truth, well it is true because the people that believe in it. Sounds better eh? This not only answers your mind-body question. It also has that "abstract" entity in almost everything in life. I mean, come on, how can you not believe in these abstract entities, i.e: mind, hereafter, etc. You would probably end up like Darwin.

I'm not a McDreamy and gang follower, but it was on TV, so I watched it anyway. One of the collegue said that the kid (who has a heart failure) would not survive even though the surgery was a success. The surgeon said, if the kid does not want to have the donated heart, and believes that he should not have the donated heart, the kid's body would reject it. True enough. After all, it's all in the mind.

In StarMag today, there was an article on parapsychology. It was on this whole hypnosis thing and how these psychiatrists (psychologists) discovered the new realm of this treatment, past-life regression. Apparently, patients are "visioned" by their previous lives. Funny as it sounds, but that's what I read.

What caught me was what if this past life regression is true? If it is true, then it is probably confirmed by the correspondence theory. As it has been proven through science, through one's sensory. If it is true, then there is such thing as reincarnation - the ideologies that are held in Buddhism and Hinduism. But if its true, that what happens to my truth? What happens to my functional truth? What happens to my beliefs as a Muslim?

I want to find it for myself, see how far true it is. But i need to persuade mama to drive me there. Malaysia's center for Past Life Regression.

Eleven years ago.

Back when I was eight, I was in this class called 2 Durian. I have no idea why the school management decided to name our classes with fruits. I mean, the usual schools had the flowers for their classes names. But fruits? We had rambai, mata kucing, durian - dan saya tak ingat yang selainnya.

When I was in standard two, I hated the toilets. It was supposed to be a private school and all, and our folks had to pay like what? 2k++ per semester, and yet, the toilet stinks like hell. And also, it had only three cubicles per floor. Macam Sekolah Kebangsaan je.

We had fun during recess, playing those getah and catching grasshoppers at the field during our Breakfast and Lunch breaks. We also had fun playing at those little spaces along the window seals pretending it was home, and each of us are family. The whole, 'I don't like you' and 'I like you' friendships seem to not really matter, we were playing a game. And in that game, we are a family. Family sticks together.

My friend, NJ and I always have toilet trips together after school to wait for our rides home. I never really liked her, for some reason. I was young. I guess it was the norm to pick the people you like, and the ones that you don't really fancy. But I talked to her occasionally, for some reason.

Probably one of the reason I didn't really fancy NJ was because she always talk nonsense. Ridicuolous, absurd stuffs. Bragging about how 'classy' her mother is. Bragging how her mother is called manja. Talking about how the father buys her fancy stuffs.

The kind of people that you would know that the stories are somehow unreal.

But I perfectly remember one day in the toilet changing into our P.E clothes. She told me about how the uncle told her that girls have breasts. At this point, I thought to myself, I mean, we are only eight. Why on earth would you worry about growing breasts? We're supposed to be playing and discover our imaginary skills.

But she did. She talked about breasts. Growing them. She also told me that the uncle said that when a guy touches that part of the chest, it would help the growing process better.

Somehow, through her subtle words I felt that there was an underlying meaning. Well, so I thought and questioned to myself, "Was the uncle molesting her?". The whole thing was just weird, weird. Sick, gross. You name it. I was eight, what the hell was I supposed to do?

I saw her last year. Not pursuing college, working at some store at the local mall. Said she was enganged to be married, to some older guy. And so I thought, what ever happened to her fancy life? Why not college? I still wonder, did the uncle do something awful to her?

You see, that was the year 1997. I knew about the whole "intimacy" thing then. I heard my friend speaking of growing breasts at the age of eight. What do you think the kids at school do today? Do they still play getah during their breaks or probably lubang tikus? Do they exchanged games drawn in exercise books? Do they still talk about cartoons that they watched the day before?

Or are they busy learning the rowdy words that the parents try so hard to forbid us from, bodoh, fuck, bangang, sial, asshole, bitch. Etc. Etc.

Do they go home to their parents and ask, "Mama(Papa), what is sodomy?"

The same question I asked mama when I was nine, a word I learned from the news.

Nyanyi jom.

"O' Bryn, you seek through the dark,
Right pass the fireflies that sleep in my heart,
You know that it's easy to see,
wait for the season, to come back to me."
Bryn.

"Saturday nights in neon lights,
Sunday in the cell ,
Pills enough to make me ill,
Cash enough to make me well,
Take me, take me, to the riot."
Take me to the riot.

"And we can do the zarathustra,
We can do the broken fist,
We can tear down all the borders
or abbreviate the list,
And when finally the finish line
emerges from the mist we'll sound
a soft alarm."
Is this love?

Okay dah lah, cukup dah. Cakap dah, bosan, malas nak fikir panjang-panjang.

Now, who wants to lend me a hand researching on Totalitarian, Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler? The whole Nazi movement.

No. telefon kau, aku miliki; Siku.

"I've got your number.

You've got my number."

Just for the sake of updating. Cheerios.

Saya tak boleh buat keputusan, adik-beradik gunting.

Great.

More reasons to be so into.
And I can't do anything about it now can I?

More reasons to think overrated is unavoidable.
All things grow. And I should stop classifying people because of our contradicting lifestyles shouldn't I? Weh, dalam Temperament test saya, it says, Judgmental. Damn it. Now where's my Temperament book?

And all of a sudden we're all whores in the cyber world.

Tapi tak apa, saya tau we do have similarities. I can even list them down if you let me.

"Would you like me to come over?"