Diri ku.

"I've seen him fall down; he falls hard".
Lauren Conrad

I used to talk of being on the ground, and standing on two feet. Of oars of life that drown you beneath the water, asphyxiate you. Of strength that swim in your blood, making the ground way below you, while you are up there, flying.

When you strike a victory, make sure it is a beneficial one, the ones that would make you gain experience points, the ones that widen your mind and the ones that increase your humility. When you fall, you weep.

These are my pictures of the roads that you head in life. The ones that make you chase something. Something that is very brilliantly abstract. The kind that you thought you wanted it, and when you have it, its really not it. What is this something? Love, happiness? No no, this something is not as easy to grab. Not easy to search. This something makes you fall hard, swim, sweat and cry but yet, it remains just as something not the thing.

Maslow talked about a pyramid filled with needs of the humble beings. About stages we fulfill to operate and function. Stages of our lives that are almost abstract, and almost beyond reach. The ultimate stage apparently is; self-actualizing needs. The stage which has no roads linked to, the one that makes you find the hidden secret passage to reach the destination. Just like in video games.

Self-actualizing is the final stage where you gain eternal happiness other than the whole other-worldly and metaphysical scenes. Happiness on earth, happiness in life. It is the stage where you take what's there on the offer, where you don't run in the race anymore and where you really do not care who is there to win or lose.

When uttered; "self-actualizing" it reminds me the whole concept of nirvana, whereby one is free, not bound by any lust that might just disrupt your connection with God. It is very much far from where I stand, too foggy to even see. If you ask me, I don't think I would be able to reach that stage, I like most would probably just stop at the stage of: Esteem Needs. In order to reach the final stage, one should really know the self. The self, the only identity I have been questioning as early as I could even remember. Catalyzed by my idealistic views; that just hurry along with the notion of "Identity seeking personality" much like Maslow's "Self-actualizing". I swear, it is the most irritating question that has been waiting for an answer ever since I was in primary. Ya Allah.

Now let me ask you; do you know yourself?

If you do, really; tell me how.

And if you don't, then who should we blame; the education system?

The Self.