Archaeology of the Soul: Silent silent night.

Someone once told me; you need to live on your own, because you would be alone eventually. No one else, but you yourself. Yes, mother. The strongest person I know for the time being. Ask me why? I can't paint you the clear picture, but I can sketch for you with charcoal. I can't dive with you in the water and lead you to explore the sea. The fishes and the planktons can only brief you with the water current. Pretty much the person I neglected, pretty much the person I love dearly, pretty much the person I respect, pretty much the person I lose respect at times. That sounded wrong, but if only you knew. But I guess it would still be wrong, as the teachings in my religion have already stated that, no matter who your parents are, even if they are ought to be in a different religion as you are, they are still your parents. So I guess, I owe more that you can even describe to my mother. Mama, I know you're not going to read this, but either way, just so the whole world knows (maybe only my friends) that I love my mama - I guess this what being away from home does to you. Eye opening. But either way, you would still tend to do what youngsters do. Polish up yourself young lady, life's not always on your side. Cheers.

I have been wanting to post these thoughts. They kept striking my pink ego box every time I read the papers up in the library. But I guess they drained themselves out my pink ego box already, cause I reckon my glass is already half empty. But half full at the same time. Anyways, for days, I have been reading about kids drowning themselves to God. Day after day. Literally. Its a scary way to lose your life, I mean, being asphyxiated by the water, and well you know, its just a common way to die. Its overrated. Factors? Lack of monitoring by guardians and parents? Or simply they were being kids, eager to spread their arms and legs in the cold water,
exploring the different depths of the water. Just watch what you do everyday, I wouldn't want to lose you people in a way thats simply based on carelessness.

Political Issues. Can't do it on the net, dangerous. Its all in my head, digest my head to know.

High School. Where there's a social discrimination among the kids. Nah, its not like all the way in the American High School. Its not all the jocks, and the drama queens, perky cheerleaders, and all that American groups. Most try to find the similarities and label that as one of the American labels. Hah, face the fact, what we have here are the minah tudung, where no offense, stick to their kind, the "cool" people who apparently fit nowhere else than the toilet cubicles inhaling "cool" smoke. Anyway, my whole point is, since I'm already in college, I roughly know what's what and who's who. Pretty much the same. The social discrimination. Not obvious though. Much friendly people, seniors specially. But you can still see that people stick to their kind. Don't get me wrong please, they do talk and communicate with others, just they hang out with their kind. Being their races. Closest thing you can get to home I reckon. Its not a bad thing anyway. I don't see where this issue is leading. Er.

Three words, just three; I miss you. ( Er you can puke buckets if you want to).

Dear Sayang,
And being in two places in a few hours and attending class in the next hour, was totally worth it.
"I love you through sparks and shining dragons, I do. Now there's poetry, in an empty coke can. I love you through sparks and shining dragons I do. Now there's majesty, in a burnt out caravan. You got me off the paper-round, just sprang out of the air. The best things come from nowhere, I love you and I don't think you care."
And hello? Be home fast please!
And I hate NS. Boohoo.

And dear Lip Gloss and Make Up;
No fear, we are always here for you. I love you a lot. Be strong!
" You crash on his side, all is quiet, all is calm. The air thicks, with stake smoke, your cheap perfume, and alcohol. And although, you know you need him, like a stake through your heart, you think its worse to stay apart. Cause its the last day of summer, and will hurt you more the most, cause you're still trying to mine for memories, in a ghost. You absence, makes no sense, just a constant of suspense. And although you both know the bubble might burst as soon as you meet, another fall start, rather than to stay apart. Cause its the last day of summer"