Sunday, June 26, 2011


You'd honestly think you're well grounded with your Self. Honestly. From the bottom of your normal-sized heart. You'd give yourself some credits that you're ready for the world, that whatever that comes your way, you could handle them reasonably. Maybe not extremely well, but you know you could manage it somehow. Because you already know what you are capable of, what you should be doing and just simply because you're integrated with your Self and the outer world.

But then comes the reminder. Or maybe reminders.

At this point of life, I honestly think in general, relationships should be effortless. Or rather, not forceful. In a way that you don't feel obligated to your responsibilities as a friend or as a partner, or a sister etc. You would just do because you want to. And not because you have to.

Ones that aren't dreadful.

On the face value, everybody seem like a great fit. You're able to give ten million explanations of why people fit together. But which one of them are actually true and real? How would you know if you're not blinded by the light?

I was just thinking of how my relationships with both my niece and nephew would be 5 years down the road. She's almost 7 and he's almost 3. 5 years down the road, she'll be 12 and he'll be 8. Would we still be as close as we are today? Would I still be able to 'hold' them in this little 'containment' I have to offer? Would they still be able to 'hold' a place for me in their lives? And when they grow into beautiful beings, would our worlds still be aligned? Would we still be able to talk deeply and not mere superficial social conversation?

Then I am reminded of my relationships with my good friends that have been ongoing since we were 13. Or even before puberty. I guess it's just because we just be. Like Sartre said, being is what it is. So we be. Kun fayakun.

Perhaps, we can't really measure the degree of how our individual worlds collide. Naturally, we are bound to meet people of different subjective worlds out there. Even ones that are destructive to our beings. Ones that constantly test and shake your grounds by manipulating the actualities in order to ground themselves. Social pathology, if you ask me.

Sure these 'sociopaths' (the literal sense not the clinical one) would threaten your core beings. Would trespass your grounds. And would even discourage you from your own self-knowledge and beliefs (that are relevant to the Truth, of course).

But the very least it should do is to harm you in definite. What it should really do is to serve you as reminders. To remind you of your principles; your core values; your beings; and your Self. It should only polish and develop you more. And should serve as a mirror that allows you to reflect on your Self even greater. What kind of a person you are and the person you want to be in the future.

Would you join in the epidemic culture of pathologies or would you rather turn the other cheek?

(Did I just write a proper post entry? Merepek dah ni, gila!)

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Kebebasan datangnya secara metafizikal,
bukan menerusi ruangan fizikal.

Saturday, June 04, 2011


Like seeing the shadow of the bright, majestic Sun hiding behind the thick, dark clouds.