Saturday, June 21, 2008


Phonies. Bloody phonies.

I'm sorry, but there is a certain clique which I would prefer to stay away from. Phonies. You know, where they adapt to the social norm just to be seen as being "in the crowd".

From attending events to listening to a certain genre, simply because.. It's in. You know, where all the cool people in phony outfits appear just to "hear" the music while dancing with a bunch of friends and all.

Really, tell me, how many of them actually went just for the sake of indulging the whole period of the event and not just to appear in their "in" outfits-suitable with the "norm" of the event.

I would rather watch and not be in the crowd just to know there are a bunch of phonies who don't really appreciate it, but rather commenting it just because.. It's the right thing to do.

I guess you would just know when they did not really indulge themselves in the scene, but only to swim in the crowd, to be seen, "Wow, cool jugak engkau ni datang sini eh?" Bahaha, I need a barf bag.

I'm sorry, I do not perceive myself as that.

Self-concept, how you perceive yourself.

Maybe, it was because that my self-concept is just to admire from afar, you know, not be "in" this eerie tide that would bring me wherever the norm would be. Its just not how I picture it.

Its more like, sitting, laughing about absurd things, making fools of ourselves and the phonies. No, certainly not discussing on how cool it would look on yourself, or rather how cool it'll be to have this or that. That's just shallow honey.

Its like talking about little figures that we have to control to win some stupid game. Yeah, not talking about some phony girls in their hitler hair-do and their killer outfits at some famous hang-out spot.

You know, its just different. I can't see myself as being one. Yeah maybe I kinda update myself a little bit here and there with their rules and norms and what not. But you know, the rules are not applicable only for the in-group.

I mean, if they wear _____ to be one of the phony, that does not mean you can't wear _____ just because they're wearing it! I mean, its not in the dictionary of _____. Maybe you would just feel being as "one of them", but I guess as long as you don't perceive yourself as "on of them", then its fine. MakCikTwo, this apply to both you and I!

They're like porcelain. Flawless, smooth. Too good to be true kinda thing. But yet, that flawless itself is the biggest flaw.

So, I would just rather watch from afar, with no strings attached and ah, just watch you know? I do not want to go near at all. Scary stuff.

Its more fun when you explore the boundaries, dive in the flaws, and laugh when you're back up on the surface. And that is how my self-concept works. Well at least on this subject.

I've learned.

I can only look from afar at these flawless, porcelain phony creatures. Its always nice to just look as they're just too good to be true.

I learn from my flaws, from the imperfection of life, from the little holes on the road; these I can indulged in. Even if it means ballistic rage.

Jane is back with writings and ideas and .... omg, I'm liking this.
My muse is back on!

Friday, June 20, 2008

A collection;

Magnet - The Last Day of Summer.

Adele - Chasing Pavements.

Nerina Pallot - Sophia.

Imogen Heap - Speeding Cars.

Frou Frou - Let Go.

Rachael Yamagata - Reason Why.

Haha, shut up. Anything more to add that are similar to these?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Talking bird,

Okay, enough about Love and all the matters related to it, like marriage.

Don't ask me why, but I have this sudden laziness to update my write-ups. I have been caught up with the fast lane; the social crowd. Yeah, even I'm slacking now. Wait, that's not new anyhow.

Social cliques.

You could climb all the way up of the world and differentiate people and the norms. Then you would feel this sudden rush in you, maybe a little ethnocentric.

Don't feel bad. I'm sure most of us have those moments in our lives.

So I separated them into columns in my head, the ones who have similar traits; I relate them to the positive and negative ones. You know, the kind that; you smoke, ah, you're type B. You drink, you're type C. The type A? Too far to reach.

But you know, that was then. Now I realized, ah, there are subcategories. Haha, I know I'm not suppose to classify people, but I guess it just happens. Not like I want to. It happens, this mind. This idealistic mind.

Then again, he/she could be type B, but when you look deep enough; he/she is human after all. And people make silly mistakes, and judgments for that matter.

I mean, this type B person could be the most notorious person in religion, but he could be the most intelligent person you ever met. Like Plato genius or maybe like Einstein genius or you know, the future politician or what not.

I mean, you could put your life in religion, and think that this person would go far in life, but without religion, its meaningless. But some may think, life's life. And God, well.. remains as er, an abstract figure?

Catch my drift?

Wonder why people relate positive acts with positive traits?

There was this once in a movie or was it an episode of some series, A PUNK, yes a punk. The one with super psycho hair-do, with thick white powder and black lip-stick and baju yang koyak rabak (budget style) and chains everywhere and piercings as their primary facial accessories IS THE FRIGGIN' NURSE.

Would you trust this punk cum nurse with your life?

So, tell me, why do we classify people? And be bias.

The social crowd, well, they're not all that bad. I mean, we fall we stand. And the Sun still shines, even He is there still.

And I'm suppose to be studying for Test. Stupid Intro to Comp.

And I swear, I need to swim deeper into my mind.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Ekonomi RumahTangga.

It seems that most the people around me are getting married.

Ah, maybe not directly connected, but still, they are getting married. They are taking that giant leap of faith. You know, the responsibility that they have to carry together. This weight they have to lift, the lives they have to combined.

Did I mention the life they would have to nourish and nurture?

Oh boy.

Most of them are in their mid and late twenties. But seriously, its a big step. I wonder when my closed 20-something friends are getting married. Oh, what more MY closest friends. HAHA. Sumpah kelakar.

Would they invite people to their wedding through Facebook's RSVP? Attending, Not attending, Maybe Attending.

Lagi lah hilarious.

Talk about advanced and new generation. As if wasting trees for their fancy wedding invitations aren't adequate. Then again, you only get married only once.

Ooops, maybe you would get the chance to get married again. I mean, isn't that the trend? Nikah, cerai, nikah lagi, cerai lagi. Bla bla bla.

My point is, marriage is a huge step. I mean, its not just mere signing documents, legalize your sexual intercourses and all. Its about uh, combining two souls, lives. And uh perhaps love? Its not the hardest nor easiest thing in the world. Its just big, huge. Bigger than your body.

Imagine managing your household economy. Bills, who pay this, who pay that? Electric bills dah nak naik. Minyak kereta lagi. Soon, monthly rentals. Groceries! Miscellaneous? Who knows when your pipe lines in your house might give you problems. Or maybe that stupid dumb lock at your front door is not working. See? Money. I mean, even in a relationship you want to manage your funds together pun might lead to an argument. What more when you're married. Don't get me started when you're expecting a baby.

Then comes the in-laws. You know you would have to constantly make them happy. Who wouldn't want their kid to be in good hands? Pretending in their presence would not help. I mean, its a form hypocrisy.

And all that things you're suppose to be in it together. Ah, heavy stuff. I mean, well, hidup sendiri sekarang ni pun tak terurus, lagi nak kahwin. Ish. Mati okay.

But maybe they're just ready for that giant leap of faith. All that trust, respect, commitments etc. Its not mere making babies and play house.

But I'm sure they know what they're doing. Maybe they have managed their lives well and it is time to merge them. The more the merrier right? Lol.

All the best. Love always wins right?

Speaking of which, I'm 19-year-old-to-be but I still do not know how to cook a decent meal or even bake. I'm a girl that enters the kitchen just to wash her dishes and make hot drinks for herself. I don't help mama in the kitchen like other of my friends do. Heck, my kid brother occasionally helps mama in the kitchen. Lol. I swear I need to start working on my home-making skills. Even my friends are picking up with them like baking? Or helping their moms in the kitchen.

There are so many things I have to catch but I hope it is still within my ability.

And marriage? I think I do not want to get married. Sigh, big big responsibilities.

Commitments pun macam susah je, lagi nak kahwin.

HAHA, pardon me for thinking about marriage. All these wedding invitations and stories are making me think!

Out from the ashes,

Selamat sejahtera.

Can I start with, I'm hungry?

Oh that's right. But it would be ridiculous if I were to spend on food outside when you can get them at home. After all, harga minyak naik kan? We might as well coin our money for our cars.

Yeah, the same machine that's going to destroy our home.

Ironically, what came from the earth is going to destroy it. Its kinda you eat yourself alive. Think about it, petroleum is one of the Earth's best asset, and now, because of petroleum, the earth is dying. Bloody global warming.

But anyway, it doesn't really matter. What matter "MOST" is harga minyak naik.

I see the brighter side of this. But don't go throwing pebbles at me if you see me walking down the street. I'm not an extremist, I'm just in the middle.

You see, harga minyak naik. You could start using your car less. Start using your trusty legs, and maybe the bike! Or ehem, the public transportation.

Complain all you want about the public transport. But just be thankful that at least we have them. And guess what? I love our public transport. I never understand why people complain about them. Maybe its not up to Singapore's MRT or what not, but yeah, it is there. Live with it. Kalau nak complain sangat, jalan ah kau seorang-seorang, tak payah ah naik bus or train. BOO.

Harga minyak naik.

Maybe just maybe some people know how to appreciate what they have. You know, don't go spending all the cash and know how to restrict your financial and all. And they know have to control their panjang langkah habits. Just drive when you need to. Discipline yourself.

Besides, you can help the earth too. And that means, less traffic.

I was driving to college today, and wah, I was surprised the traffic was smoooooth. Then I started laughing like a retarded baboon. "Maybe semua orang decided to not drive, walk, take the bus or something!". But I laughed. Which means, LIKE IT WILL HAPPEN. Sadly because its the school holiday. Cheers.

One thing is that, kesian the needy ones. No not you, don't categorize yourself as that because I bet you'd be reading this from a laptop in your cozy little room or something. My point is that you still can afford to access the Internet.

The needy ones.

The one where they kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. Where their parents toil their asses off at the ladang getah or something. And they have like a bunch of young kids to look after. To provide food, clothes and all that thing you have to provide for your children. Where their income is totally unstable. Sigh.

But again, to blame externally on government is again inappropriate. I mean, internally we have to be well too. Control your life. Plan it well. I'm sure insyaAllah, with God's will you won't go wrong.

Harga minyak naik.