Tuesday, February 01, 2011


My apologies towards my own goal-striving Self. I can't read the long-winded text about infants and their cognitive capabilities or of his/her object relations with the mothers' breasts. Yes, you didn't read wrong, breasts. To be exact, Kleinian's good/bad breasts. The thing about psychoanalytic thinking is - Freud's psychosexual emphasis. Any of you fixated yet?

But my mind is just not generating properly. I need to be productive, but at the same time I want to be stagnant. Lay in bed all day if it requires me.

I even skipped the one thing that's left of my source of inspiration only to deprive myself more. See what I meant by being caught up in the space between?

You see, it is set to self-destruct.

And for God's sakes people, stop messaging me asking if I'm okay or otherwise. It just annoys the hell out of me, which would make me worse than okay. I know all of your intentions mean well, but I just need my own space and to function at my own time. And of course this goes unnoticed because none of them really read this space, hence the never-ending annoyance I could chew someone's head off.

I've been here.

And to be honest, I like it very much. It puts me into perspective and back in tangent. It really isn't the worst thing. And just because I don't act as 'normal', that really does not mean anything. What is normal, anyway? Your collective perceptions, as what you lot seem to suggest.

So should I really follow your collective perception of my Self?

Because to be honest, I have had enough of individuals who try to plant seeds of their own recollections of my Self as if they know better.

And the worst of it all, I allowed them to.

1 comment:

ridhwan noordin said...

hey nad, you okay
I'm being annoying here am I