Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Again and again.

Yes, somebody has to come up to me and say, "Jane, you need to widen your scope."

And I'd probably say, "Well then, do you want to be my muse?"

Sue me. Didn't I tell you I've always been going around in circles with the basic things in life? Maybe I'm the one who has been paying too much attention to it. I mean, you need to be aware of it to perceive it. I guess then, its my fault. I've to to get myself out of this cocoon.

Are you aware that it is hard to be entirely independent? I mean, think about it. If you were out living out in the woods, you might think you're alone. Just you and your little wooden shack.

Ah, but there's where you are wrong.

You're surrounded by the nature. And in case you do not know, they're the ones who provide you oxygen and all. Which deeply enough, helps you to breathe, hence, helping you to live.

I mean, without those trees, you're nothing - you can't even breathe.

But what has been bothering me is that, why do people need to be interdependent? I mean, sure you need someone to share the joy and the burden in life. I'm sorry I might sound a little bit skeptical or rather boxed, but why? I know it sounds like questioning why is 2+2=4. But i was just wondering lah okay.

You could have all the things in life but at the end of the day, you just need that mere companionship. Maybe by the love of a pet, a mother, a sibling, a father, a friend, or a lover. Maybe even God. But He's pretty much everywhere with you, and He's a little too abstract. So lets take Him out of the frame.

And you know all the phases you go through in life? Like from Sekolah Menengah, where you share life experiences that help you be where you are now with those closed friends. And yes, I can't deny that you would end up being closed still after your schooling years and throughout college life.

But it wouldn't be much the same wouldn't it?

You go to different institutions, study. Yes, you talk now and then. But it is not the same as those days, you see each other every morning. 5 days a week. It's pretty much like your life routine. You share things, vague and vivid. Now, you probably would just meet over breakfast and all since each of you have your own life events.

Then you create new circle of friends. Might not be the same as the previous ones, but you know, you see them more often. Being under the same roof and all. And, you talk, laugh, scream and shout daily. Isn't that what its about? Going through things together, on a daily basis. Physical proximity - isn't this one of the fundamental factor?

But what would happen to the dear ones from your the circle from your previous stage of life?

Should you draw a line between what's to share and what not to share? I mean, how do you know whether you should share things with someone and be dependent?

Do you measure by how close are or were you? I mean, period of time knowing. Or do you measure by the physical proximity? BAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Again, why do we need to be interdependent? Why can't we just follow what Nietzsche promoted, the ubermench?

F said, "because we all have a heart".

Right now, I don't even know whether my heart is whether its in the "icebox" or its at the Sahara Desert, melting.


pinknerd said...

i guess you can't really say. people come and go, and being interdependent is a constant cycle, it's existence is intangible and unchangeable, you don't choose to have it around, it's always there.

and personally i don't believe in measuring your relations with others by how long you've known them, or whatever. people come and go, and back to the interdependent concept, whether you share things with people is not exactly in your range of control. it just happens, and most of the time, it's natural.

anyway im kinda rambling. i dont think im making much sense here but read between the lines :P

*cosmic freak* said...

the keyword is managing 'change'. you'll learn in later on in life.

being independent doesn't mean you don't need anyone, being interdependent doesn't mean you can't stand on your own and survive. bottomline, at least you are not "overly dependent" until it just seems too pathetic.

managing change is like adapting yourself to whats available within your reach, having said that, in a wise way.

I get that from my friends, in which, there's too many. If I hang out with the latest bunch, the school friends said I changed and have forgotten about them. For me, its all about who is available within you reach at that time.

on things you share, it can be the same but in some ways, varies from one friend to another. becos what you have is an individually exclusive friendship with each friend and you want to savour that the very least.

I might not make sense. I am not in my best state. And kisses everywhere should not be interpreted wrongly. ahaks!