Sunday, May 11, 2008

Home is where the friggin heart is!

Okay, sorry.

Did you ever know your safety circle? You know, where you would feel safe from anything in the world.

Yes, it could be your "true" love. At least at this point you would think it is your true love. One may be infatuated, and never know. Hence, being in denial. Love is blind so they say.

And obviously yes, your family. Maybe not for all of us, but you know, most of us. Especially the ones who would really catch you when you fall and hit the ground. Its like, doing things that would definitely hurt them and disappoint them.

But yet, when you turn around after you've ran away from your safety circle, you know they're just standing right at the doorstep, waiting for you to return. With whatever reason you're tearing for. Ah, emotion.

Truth is, yes we did disappoint our folks every now and then. And yeah, everyone's living a lie at a certain scale. Big or small, who can really tell? You didn't let the whole world read your mind did you? I mean, no one really knows what's going on in your head.

That little guilt you've been holding since ever.

Maybe from that birthday party they held for you when you were 5. Or maybe at that small family dinner when you were 5? Or maybe that time when you kissed, and not exactly tell.

And you moved far away from the past, hoping there's a light. And thinking about it does not really help.

Apabila tupai jatuh ke tanah,

Silence.

You crawl back to the doorstep, weep in regret.

Maybe it is that little software He programmed in all of us, the heart. I mean, we could be the evil genius that wants immortality and to be the ruler of the world, but he could fall just by this tiny thing. Unless he has his heart in an icebox or something. Just look at hmmm, can't think of any example. Okay maybe that botak guy from Austin Powers, he still loves his bald cat. I mean, its always with him all the time. Its still love. And all things grow remember?

Who knows one day it'll grow and move on to a bigger subject, a human.

But yeah, I guess its one of the wonders of the world. Maybe they should not put the wonders of the world physically like those buildings and sculptures and all.

And mama, akak sayang mama lah okay. Thanks for being so hmmm understanding with my keras kepala and all. Ugh, and all my screams. And I'm too egoistic to be transparent to her and even say this to her face, what more write it on a card. She wouldn't read this. So HAHA, :)

Shut up, aku ego. Blame Freud, he planted that ego thing in our brains. (See, fundamental attribution error, SNM or er JJ, stop it.)

So anyway, MAMA, I LOVE YOU. And I'm so fucking sorry for the thing that happened before. This thing called love, they do funny things to you. You should know, you were in love when you were my age. And sad thing is, you would come to know its infatuation.

Thanks for always being there for me, despite that I do things that eat you up inside. And my grades, ah, you know they're for you as you're constantly nagging about my academic. Okay, its actually for me too.

So, happy mother's day ma! Akak sayang mama. :) I'm sure adik does too. Walaupun dia malas nak belajar and always curi main laptop.

We kids have our ways.

11 comments:

Oh Snappp ! said...

babe, i love youuuu too! soon, we'll me mothers too. haha wtf. anyways, yes yes i want GG! do u hv all? omg omg. lol. i've been hearing juicy things from my personal sources. lol. about GG that is. ngeee. cant wait to watch! serenaaaa rules. ahaha wtf.

Oh Snappp ! said...

did i post using oh snappp's? haah. my bad. ;) DO VISIT US!!

cupidie87 said...

haha:) your mama would be very happy and proud to read this particular post.
hmmm...since she knows my number, maybe, probably i'll just drop a sms to her with the link.. hahaha :)

Jumping Jane. said...

Faz,
wei i love you too. stop creeping me with "we would be mothers one day too"
HAHAHA. I'm not even 19.

Luce,
YOU DONT AH. You did texted her though aka luce :) very sweet of you. and thanks!

Anonymous said...

That's not ego, bajet laa tau psl psychology, ur juz a damn big controlling coward. Wish her, kiss her two cheeks. Which one is harder? carrying a big headed baby for 9 months in ur tummy or a simple mother's day kiss?

Jumping Jane. said...

Lol! Guess what? That's exactly what I did. :) Peace!

Roronoa Zoro said...

jumpingJane as a mother?
*trying not to laugh*
*realy...REALLY hard*



jk

Jumping Jane. said...

Kamal, siot kau.

*cosmic freak* said...

that botak guy from austin powers is dr. evil adik sayang oii. hehe.

and his cat is mr. bigglesworth.

yes, this makcik is a fanatic fan of austin powers.

say hi to your mom. :-) she got a very very energetic akak as a daughter.

yr mustafa sister :P said...

hahaha being anonymous is coward okay!

Jumping Jane. said...

HAHA Faz, I know who is it lah!!
LOOOL. And you know too!