Moi!

Phonies. Bloody phonies.

I'm sorry, but there is a certain clique which I would prefer to stay away from. Phonies. You know, where they adapt to the social norm just to be seen as being "in the crowd".

From attending events to listening to a certain genre, simply because.. It's in. You know, where all the cool people in phony outfits appear just to "hear" the music while dancing with a bunch of friends and all.

Really, tell me, how many of them actually went just for the sake of indulging the whole period of the event and not just to appear in their "in" outfits-suitable with the "norm" of the event.

I would rather watch and not be in the crowd just to know there are a bunch of phonies who don't really appreciate it, but rather commenting it just because.. It's the right thing to do.

I guess you would just know when they did not really indulge themselves in the scene, but only to swim in the crowd, to be seen, "Wow, cool jugak engkau ni datang sini eh?" Bahaha, I need a barf bag.

I'm sorry, I do not perceive myself as that.

Self-concept, how you perceive yourself.

Maybe, it was because that my self-concept is just to admire from afar, you know, not be "in" this eerie tide that would bring me wherever the norm would be. Its just not how I picture it.

Its more like, sitting, laughing about absurd things, making fools of ourselves and the phonies. No, certainly not discussing on how cool it would look on yourself, or rather how cool it'll be to have this or that. That's just shallow honey.

Its like talking about little figures that we have to control to win some stupid game. Yeah, not talking about some phony girls in their hitler hair-do and their killer outfits at some famous hang-out spot.

You know, its just different. I can't see myself as being one. Yeah maybe I kinda update myself a little bit here and there with their rules and norms and what not. But you know, the rules are not applicable only for the in-group.

I mean, if they wear _____ to be one of the phony, that does not mean you can't wear _____ just because they're wearing it! I mean, its not in the dictionary of _____. Maybe you would just feel being as "one of them", but I guess as long as you don't perceive yourself as "on of them", then its fine. MakCikTwo, this apply to both you and I!

They're like porcelain. Flawless, smooth. Too good to be true kinda thing. But yet, that flawless itself is the biggest flaw.

So, I would just rather watch from afar, with no strings attached and ah, just watch you know? I do not want to go near at all. Scary stuff.

Its more fun when you explore the boundaries, dive in the flaws, and laugh when you're back up on the surface. And that is how my self-concept works. Well at least on this subject.

I've learned.

I can only look from afar at these flawless, porcelain phony creatures. Its always nice to just look as they're just too good to be true.

I learn from my flaws, from the imperfection of life, from the little holes on the road; these I can indulged in. Even if it means ballistic rage.


Jane is back with writings and ideas and .... omg, I'm liking this.
My muse is back on!