The beautiful living thing.

I am in love. Only it is non-living- if its based on the biological definition. As for me, it is pretty much alive. Maybe even immortal at least for as long as the world still orbits around the suria and the universe is still left unexplored entirely. Dynamic entity.

I think I'm in love. With a living thing, a beautiful one. Unrequited even.

ASK my tiny friend.

Saya rindu Bebe!

A hold of the heart.

Kalau aku adalah aku, engkau sememangnya engkau. Kalau aku adalah engkau, engkau mungkin aku.

Kalau kita adalah kita, aku adalah aku dan engkau adalah engkau. Kalau aku dan engkau adalah kita, we are both mutable and adaptable maybe even compatible.

Tetapi dengan syarat, engkau tahu bahawa engkau adalah engkau.

"In my heart you grow,"

Tiny gestures spread like wildfire 
in the self.

I now know in definite,
have you?

How much longer, sir?

For outputs, there must be inputs. For inputs, there shall be indulgence. Perhaps a long, intense embrace. Also, there shall not be ignorance. 

Or yourself fighting against yourself. Have you not heard?

One's greatest enemy, is oneself. Maybe in any forms at all. Egocentrism, and all that. Those little substances that had built you along your "journey". For the destination doesn't matter as much as the journey(ies). 

For outputs, one shall embrace inputs. To embrace inputs, one shall seek light in search of inputs. Could be in any forms at all. Could even be your greatest enemies - happiness, dreams, egocentrism, loneliness, irrationality etc.

Could one be so afraid of being happy? That when happiness comes flooding, peace assimilate to your mind and soul; your enemy questions of the rush of happiness. 

As if such state of bliss is mere illusion, metaphysical states that when materialized, you're too afraid to embrace. 

A fucking phantasmagoria. Fantasies materialized? It is as if having little fairies flying into your bedroom window, and you flying into Neverland.

The so called "ultimate output". The never-ending search for a state of bliss. Peace. At ease.

But to embrace inputs, we are ought to have doubt. Like the mad (somewhat genius) writer embracing love, and self-reflecting. The drunk poet embracing loneliness in the streets of Frankfurt. The pseudo-soulmate in our heads that facilitate our lives.

Embrace this, like how I embrace this sudden rush of emotions. Embrace this, like how you'd embrace your sudden rush of emotions. 

Embrace this, like you know that you are being embraced by yours truly, metaphorically.


I wonder; how much longer, sir?

Lanjutnya Malam,

Nyanyian mereka bernadakan angan-angan,
Tentang inti lamunan yang melimpah-limpah.

Ke awangan, untuk mengopek cebisan awan.

Nyanyian mereka, ku dengari seharian;
tentang inti lamunan,
yang sebenarnya kosong apabila direalisasikan.

Kosong, seperti yang pernah aku katakan.

Persis, tetapi memakan dalaman.

Hm. 

Where I've really been. Or where I still am?

Definite, indefinite. Apparently we are all here indefinite of the things in lives. Walking, jogging, maybe running towards the something(s) that would clarify the definites. Almost absolute definites.

I am tired of this cognitive war.

Tired, of mentally walking and running from the things that scare me. Tired, of mentally walking and running towards the things that facilitate life. Tired, of abstractly chasing the possible selves; the ideal self.

Indefinite of what we are supposed to learn from these phases. On how we're supposed to juggle these shitty colorful, plastic balls. On how we are to manage the entire system and plan the plans ideally.

On the real meanings on what this entire thing is really about.

Indefinite of the definites. Definite of the indefinites.


Boleh jadi gila, tau tak?

Eeeeee, ada ke?

Mengulas tentang isi esei walhal Cicero dan anak muridnya secara general.

"Oh, that's so shallow, honey!"

Honey, I think you'd be the shallow one since you think it's shallow of me to think as such. Tak pernah dengar ke, esse est percipi. Frames of references, associations of prior knowledge and novelties. Hence, fucking subjectivity. Thus, your semantic ambiguity is made up of that lah, DUH!

And out of a sudden, I'm shallow. I'm gonna blow your mind with AKAB's gun, since he got rid of it and all.

Or is it just me, being egocentric?