Breaking the habit.

(Lama tak dengar Hujan).

You know, from the previous post below, I can't seem to really tell what's my bad habit. I mean, you think its your bad habit. But other might not thing that it is your habit. Esse est percipi.

I can't help but to think, about our habits.

As we know, time changes as season changes. Acquaintances, or 'friends' change from time to time. Flings, scandals and lovers, they come, they go. But your soul mate? Let's save it until you have really found yours.

You see, I have always been fascinated on how my daily routines changed from one week to another. I mean, yeah sure, the days in that week would be somewhat similar, but the following week, they are not exactly similar. They change.

A couple of months ago, I would go socialize with some acquaintances from college. Which by now, I have realized that I am not exactly that kind of a person who actually goes out with acquaintances and just hang out. No. I might as well do something more beneficial than wasting time, staring at each other, drinking teh-o-ais.

Today, well today, I wonder hard how 'hang out' buddies change, just like seasons do. But the closed ones remain.

How are social habits formed? From where I stand, well, I guess its pretty much influenced by the people around me. Or people that matter to me. You see, when you start to talk often to a person, you would spend more time with him/her. Like casual hang-outs, text-messages, calls etc.

I must say, it is funny how text-messaging is sooooo vital in the social context nowadays. You know like, when a guy wants to hit on a girl, he starts texting her and shit. Like 24/7. Or, how friends constantly talk to each other on text messaging. Zzz. Bad habit, bad habit. Bazir duit pun ada.

Don't get me wrong. New habits that adapt to your ever-changing lifestyle are pretty good, you see? You wouldn't want a mundane lifestyle throughout. So, habits break, forming new ones.

But what happens when a person has become your daily habit, and you don't really want it to change just yet?

Heh.

The name game.

It has been ages since I have (and want) to do this whole tag thing. But little miss Social Butterfly (Sasha Leong) had tagged me. So here goes nothing.

1. What’s your ambition?
Making the ideals of the world near possible.

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
Friends, well.. if I had a boyfriend, then ha ha it depends on circumstances and who needs the attention more.

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
I'm not morbid.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Er.. not really.

5. How many babies you want?
We're talking about babies already?? WOAH, slow down honey!

6. Favorite perfume/fragrance?
On me? Hah, Be Delicious. Yum.

7. What is your goal for this year?
Live life. You know, get my priorities right, maintain my grades. Learn more about life and wonder why? Change for the better.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Eternity love for that significant other? Bullshit. I'm sorry, but when you really think about it, technically, when you're dead, you don't even know who was(is) your significant other. And if you believe in past-life, and all that 'I think I knew you before' from your past life, ahhh I don't believe in that. Eternity love for God? Probably. Because when you die (again this is driven by my beliefs), you would be submitting yourself to God, for judgments and what not. But eternity love? Technically not possible. If you ask me true love? Maybe probably.

9. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to u? (List 10)
Almost perfect. a) Intellectual b) Not so much of Dreamer c) Gorgeous d) Knows what he should do in life e) He loves me, duh! f) Funny g) Has a decent lifestyle h) Complements my life i) He understands and speaks my language j) He is being himself.

10.What feeling do you love most?
The feeling when I read excerpts of theories regarding my passion, and get excited over it and it reassures me that this is it. This is what I really want to do.

11. What is your bad habit?
Not knowing exactly what my bad habit is, because I think I have tons.

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the ppl who hates you?
Be merry!

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Of course, they have socially mold me.

14. What does flying means to you?
Get cape. Wear cape. Fly

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
Soto ayam? With lots of bawang goreng, sambal kicap and begedil. Lapar doh.

16. Who do you think is hotter, Chace Crawford or Kevin Peaker?
Uh, none.

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
Aunty, you like to dance don't you?

18.What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
:)

19. What will u become in another 10 years to come?
29?

20. Do you reread text messages that woo-ed/affect you?
HAHA.

Instructions

Remove one question from above and add in your personal question.

Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.
List them out at the end of the post.

Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

TAGGING:

1. Moron 1
2. Pink Nerd
3. Potential Hipster
4. Candies and chocolate
5. Sarah M
6. Melody O
7. Hijau, jom!
8. Little miss Chan.

This year's love, (altered)

I love, Psychology.
I'm psyched out about Schema Theory, awesome stuff.

I love, SP.
"I will race you to the waterside, And from the edge of Ireland shout out loud. So they could hear it in America. It's all for you." The planets bend between us.

Tell me this is not infatuation. Tell me this is real. Tell me.

'Lifeboats'

Nothing beats good music, morning coffee and the urge to continue your work. And that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

It's weird that we try to define almost everything (maybe indeed everything) in life. In doing so, most of us ended up getting confused anyway.

Is it driven by our innate curiosity? Or is it because we just need to know the answers to everything?

You see, we were thought to define things first before we could proceed to next procedure. You know, the usual, define the problems. Then list all the effects and consequences, then from there, we work the solutions out.

Really, it has been that way.

But then you would have to define more abstract things such as Ethics, Justice, Love, Politics, Religion, God, and the list goes on. But the ultimate one would be Life itself.

Really, in defining these abstract entities, you could go on for your whole life, and never really find the universal, absolute answer. The usual, 'Esse Est Percipi'. Did I tell you George Berkeley is a genius? You should hold him close in your life. His principle at least.

They say Beauty Lies in the Eyes of the Beholder. And we should thank subjectivity for this. Say if 10,000 guys have the exact, absolute desires for this 1 particular girl - from the way she talks, to the way she thinks. And really, she is the only kind. Then what would happened to the rest? 10,000 to 1 for reproduction? I don't think so. So, we should really be thankful that each and every one of us are different to the eyes of the other. You may be the same like most, but that one special trait in you, make you different.

Religion? Ah, have you heard of the whole 'soon kids can choose their religion' issue? I don't know, if he/she is mature enough to tell the differences between the abstract and the physical, the reality and the ideals, or the definition of God, religion and even beliefs. Because really, what are beliefs, norms, folklore? They were inherited from the ancestors before us. And we all know along the way, these words tend to be distorted and edited.

The superior and the inferior? The 'hak ketuanan', it somehow shows that the Melayu take too much pride in their traits, in their customs. To preserve our culture, yes okay. But excessively? Soon, we'll just end up like the Germans who tried to preserve their 'Aryans' blood, just because they were one of the greatest ages ago (just like the Melayu royalties then) and who would stand up and be the Führer of Malaysia? Certainly not the defacto leader. Come on, it's 2008. Move on already.

You could read the Idiots Guide to Love or Dating. But we're talking about two different individuals perceiving one mutual abstract entity. If you act by the book, you'd be too rigid, if you feel too much, you could end up eating yourself alive. The 'rules' of love, a) How close can a guy friend be to your girlfriend? b) How do you when too much is too much? and the list goes on. How do you just know, it is what it is.

So, how do you know how to define the definitions of that particular subject? It's just weird and funny how we always tend to define things in life.

What am I talking about? There's always Pragmatic (functional) truth.

*Sometimes, words say too much.

Hulabaloo and whiny words

Sometimes, I just wish I'm half as carefree as most of the population in the entire world. Wanna know why? This is Jane, whining:

1. I know my due dates are around the corner. And yes, I'm trying to absorb a Research on Acquiring Intellectual Skills, and try to work an experiment from that. (Okay, tak complain pasal ni). BUT thing is, I am worried about the other workload and my finals, and how my grades would probably turn out not as great as the last term. And, how am I supposed to write a bloody good paper so it would blow the minds of my educators. And I'm tired of thinking on how the hell am I supposed to convince them that I, deserve a bloody A. And wonder whether my peers have the same thought on how to bridge their points and words properly and nicely just cause they could get an A, or are they just born naturally with the talent to get an A? And how the hell most of the top Dean's List students managed to get 4.0 EVERY SEMESTER? Ahhhhhh.

2. I want to print this bloody Research, but I want to save trees, I do not want to waste papers. I'd just have to read and highlight it on Microsoft Words - which really is not even half the same as reading it on a piece of paper - where I can just doodle at the blank edges.

3. Definitions are killing me.

4. I hate the fact when my mind is not exploring as deep as the friggin' ocean when the term, 'Cognitive Psychology' implies. You see? I want to be shallow and I want to be bloody hell intellectual at the same time? How is that even possible?

5. Adik was right, the human mind is a friggin' battlefield.


Believe me, I'm laughing out loud at my own whining words. Now, I shall focus on my research proposal.

And, no actually, I'm thankful with my workload, because its much lesser than my friends'. But, my mind is measuring every single details and it's killing me.

I must say, pelik aku orang tanya, 'Malam ni pergi mana?' - Just cause it's Halloween. Hello? Aku nak tido kot.