Saturday, February 17, 2007

Bloody Mary ;

I wish sometimes that maybe someone could just read me like a book, understand and anticipate more. And at the end of the day, evaluate where do I stand right now. To tell you the truth ; often I do not know where I stand or what exactly I want. Its as if I wait for someone to tell me what I want. As if. Maybe. Or maybe I am too afraid of myself ; stupid? Afraid that I am not making the right choice or that I might get lost in the path I chose. Or along the way I tend to break. Go with the flow they say; but how am I suppose to? Now its as if its related to my crystal ball post. Whether you would choose to gaze inside or not. Right now? Please God help me.

Let me ask you ; when you said "We would have to wait then and if fate has decided, maybe then it'll work,"; do you think it would actually come true or it was just some kind of false hope ; a make believe? But let me tell you this ; it works awkwardly, the least unexpected thing. It may work so fast you wouldn't think it is fate but it is just coincidence. But then you would stop to think would coincidence lead to fate? And by then ; you would be as good as a caged bird? Trapped in between the appreciated life inside a lonely cage and the life outside - filled with harm and colors of the world ; and you would know that feeling is plastered for as long as you can remember. Then you would feel powerless ; you would just curl on the bed.

Have you ever sing along with tunes that sing your heart out loud but no one actually understands why? The ones that you weep while you were singing with a smile. The ones that sail you across your memories. And I tell you ; every song tells a story.

Immaturity ; defined as lack of normal maturity. But what is the precise maturity? Its too abstract, too vague. You may say one is immature because she is always jumping and not acting her age ; but her shoe size. Or you may say one is immature because he makes early decisions. But another may say you are immature. Because you point you finger and hide the truth. So answer me if you know ; what is immaturity and who is right?

These posts ; have no absolute nothingness ; its as good as digesting my heart and head out.

"Do you believe in fate?"
"Or do you believe in coincidence that leads to fate?"

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