Jan-with the-E on love.

Seriously, somebody has to shoot me.

I have been wanting to write a friggin' post on the matter love, since like, ages ago. Okay maybe not, last month. And April is going to end soon. Bodoh punya muse, datang lambat gila.

Anyway, all I've been wanting to say is that, the word love is getting over-rated by the second. Sumpah.

EVERYDAY conversations revolve around it, sometimes I think infatuation is love and love is infatuation. And so they say, love always win. And I guess, that is why people are dwelling upon the subject for this season.

And did I tell you my friggin case study and my friggin presentation was on love?

Dude, my presentation was on Romantic Relationship. How sloppy and how mushy was that? But they said I did good - because I was experienced. What kind of comment was that? I mean, hello? You don't need to be in it to be good at it. Okay, tarik balik - that was totally wrong. But I wasn't even inspired to say anything smart or intellectual for that matter. All I said was excerpts and examples from the so called love genius, William friggin Shakespeare.

My point here is, social science is sick. How can they make a theory out of a SACRED matter?

Fine. But I've to admit, agak genius lah jugak diorang ni sebenarnya.

And the case study? It was on gender differences in mate selection. And yes girls, guys can live without LOVE but WITH SEX. It's proven.

Okay, basically it was on what guys look in girls and vice versa. It was derived by the evolutionary theory, Darwin ah siapa lagi. And socio-cultural perspectives. The whole why men are somehow "higher" than women thing, from religious views and all.

Jan-without the E; "Kenapa perempuan selalu nak lelaki kaya blablabla?"

I blame Darwin dude. Okay, maybe if I blame him, I'd blame the force of nature. But you know why? THEY SAY, guys seek (I just realized I dah mumble about this matter in one of the last posts) features to cultivate their species. And thus, women would find for a figure that provides them security.

Thing is, I thought it was suppose to be all sugar - utopia, bliss, joy what not. Fine, it's such an IDEALISTIC imagination. Who cares? A girl can dream can she? Then again, gila fake.

They say, signals of attraction:
Physical proximity
Appearence
Similarity
Acceptance.

And how to fall in love:
Exposure
Love object
A state of arousal.

If someone cukup syarat, maka, dia telah jatuh cinta.

How far true is this?

You see, you watch movies yes, they infatuate, confess, smooch, and get to bed. And that's it. Then, the next thing you know, another love object appears, and the list goes on. Macam senang je nak fall in love kan? Well, that would be the passionate love. The one that only has the passion and intimacy component.

Companionate love: Commitments and Intimacy. Macam deep friendship lah.

Here comes the tricky part, consummate love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment.

We're not talking about being only loyal. Its such a general word. We're talking about, making decisions together. Being committed to your exact words, (and I can't think of anything else) etc.
Being committed to each others lives - dreams, whatever lah kan.

But tell me, if its only Intimacy+Passion, how could it be call LOVE. I mean, well I see it as infatuation. You can't just jump into bed with someone just after knowing them for what, few days? Gila infatuation lah okay, I mean, its almost like I'm reading Romeo and Juliet again. How can winds change so fast?

Consummate love? You tell me dear, were all the commitments real? Were all of them fulfilled? Maybe I might sound a little bit selfish. And now, "What did I do?" You should know better. But you know, like I said, or the movie did, or perhaps the song did, love means letting go.

Passionate love? Can one be in a passionate love so fast?

Maybe, I'm just going round the bush again. It does not take science to figure all these things eh? It does not take rationale.

Follow your heart, leave the head alone.

I guess when you're ready to take that leap, you'd know. And when you fall, well, you could always stand again.

And he said; "Flocked Jane."

You decide.