Saturday, August 30, 2008

This is the life.

(Danisoul, flickr. Google Image)

I felt free.
But to spread my wings, it takes a little time to take off.
Slowly however, I moved towards the edge.
And when there was a force within me, I spread my wings anyway.
I flew. Free, no doubt.
But yet, I felt restricted. I felt afraid, lonely.
It's a lonely journey isn't it?
You fly with your flock friends, yes.
But when tomorrow comes, it's a new chapter.
Your new adaptations became the past.
You move to a new flock, a new phase.
The world seem so new prior to the strange phases.
Your mind and body aged, but life gets stranger,
The world grows distant.

We crawl, we walk, we run.

You follow the currents of life.
Those boulders you meet along the way,
you try to work your way around it.
Some struggled, some made it.
At some phase in your stranger life,
you meet with your past blended in your present.
Then you realized,
"we never really did find what the hell we are here for,"
even after all these years.


So who or where do we turn to? Look at the people who are close to you. Give it another 10-15 years. Would they still be there? Even if they will still be there, what happens with the people you meet along the way? The ones you tend to "bond" and be "close" with.

Is this the order of life? You meet people. You keep on meeting people.. on and on and on.

Then, what ever happen to the old ones? Lost contact?

Some, are so near, but yet so far. Funny isn't it?


Che Eduardo said...

Well, I've pretty much walked alone all these years. Not sure why; or whether I want it.. There's just so few people I keep I touch with..

Jumping Jane. said...

Well, then we're different I guess. Suddenly I felt that my life just stumbled in front of me, just waiting for me to embrace it.

Maybe it was because I had that "leash" continuously.

Now at 19, my life suddenly appears in front of my doorstep. So what do I do with it?

I commute from one places to another, alone. Feels strangely fine.

So macam mana che? Awak kan experience! :)

Che Eduardo said...

After school; most drifted away.. Maybe it was my fault of not trying to keep it going; but when our aims and priorities became different, you have to move along..

In college after four years, I can hardly say I have 'real' friends. I had one guy; but then one day he just literally quit on me. I know some by name; I know many by the fact that they attend the same class with me. I go lunch alone; walk back alone (unless some girl wants to walk with me)

I'm a very private person; so I'm able to go along (not sure about you). My best friend: One guy who sat next to me in Form Four. Actually, I had to sit next to him because I was late. All the other seats were taken. Quiet newbie in school, who always had a smile. Wasn't the smartest tool in the shed; but took life in his stride. Eight years later, one of the few people Che dines with.

How many friends you need in life? Just one, if he stands by you. The rest just come and go..

Che: Believe me, my perspective at 19 and 24 are different..

Jumping Jane. said...

That's exactly what I mean. I guess, after all these years, it all comes down back to your self.

Feels strangely fine to depend on the self.

Terima kasih che!

pinknerd said...

from another lone ranger: who says the world is lonely when you're contented on your own? :)

Jumping Jane. said...

Memang lah Pink,

tapi saya dah "biasa" being someone else's shadow, since 14?

But basically that's not the problem.. I mean, I can move on, I have move on.

It's just new I guess to me. But I have liked being alone. Its just well, feels strangely fine.

I was afraid to just randomly take the bus and go somewhere far from home, alone.

And I did, to your college (shut up, baby steps. I can go further, trust me!)

HAHA, so saya bangga atas kejayaan saya!

*cosmic freak* said...

One rule in friendship, don't meet or talk everyday. Try to keep it not on a leash, but enjoy the exclusive individual friendship you have with every single person. Its easier to maintain and cherish that way. I got quite a few I bond and gotten close with for different reasons.

And those who accept me as I am, and the person I grew up to be. Because believe me when I tell you, you'll grow up like on a fast lane from your college years to your working life. And not many friendship survives that.