Under one's skin.

Funny, really.

You see a nurse as a nurse. With her (his) white (sometimes pink) uniform. They attend to sick people. Hence, whoever that wears the same uniform, she (he) is a nurse. And they attend to sick people.

When you see the nurse outside her (his) job hours, in their own skin; probably in a punk outfit or in slutty outfit, would you see her (him) as a nurse?

Karl Jung promoted his Archetypes theory with elements of a persona blended with extroverts and introverts components. Archetypes dear readers, are the mental images you form towards a word in this case, a person.

It is funny how you say the word Mama, you visualize your mother. And hence, you perceive Mama for what, who she is to you. And not what she is to the other world, a mechanic maybe. Or (fine I'll give you a more exclusive job) a politician maybe?

But no, when one utters the word Mama to you, you would perceive her as Mama. The one that nourish you through your sick days. The one that nags at you when your eyes are locked on the monitor. Not 'Datuk Seri' or an 'MP'.

On the other hand, the persona your Mama carries to the external world is a politician. She's a mother at home. But outside, she's a mother of 4, but that's that. Everybody else is a mother. But not everyone is a Politician by profession.

Likewise, if you utter the word ' Budak Indie' to me, somehow it would gives me this image of a bunch of phonies dressing up as 'Indie' flock. Although I know better that not everyone who dresses up as one of the 'Indie' flock listens to 'Indie' music. I mean, if you ask me, one who does not portray his/her persona as 'budak indie', could know oceans of the 'Indie' scene. Be it music, movies and such.

My point here is, why when one utters a classification of a person you immediately visualize them? You create mental images of them although you know better that they are not exactly that.

Well, I guess it's because you have known and pre-judged them physically first. Like, 'Tag Heuer' watch, 'Banana republic' top, 'AX' bottom. Poof, he must be this fancy kid who hangs out with fancy people, and would not entertain normal, moderate people - because you are not significant enough.

When really, their philosophy of life contradicts totally, "Just because I dress up with fancy clothes, which by the way I bought with my parents' money, does not mean I act and I live by the stereotyped principles of the fancy people."

Think Serena and Dan from Gossip Girl (in Season 1).

I mean, as long as they are comfortable in their own skin, and just because they don't necessarily have that physical persona of their inner self, does not mean they are like the bunch of people they are classified in.

I mean, you can't exactly define a person by where he/she lives. Or whether or not her/his facial or hair products are the expensive ones. Or whether or not her/his flip flops are those expensive ones from the 'trendy' stores. Or whether his/her bedroom is as decorated as yours? What are all of these really?

Sometimes, your mental images of one's physical appearance would differ with your abstract images of that person inner self. Mismatched of the physical and abstract entity. Habis tu, nak buat macam mana?

When you want to get to know a person, yes I know physical attraction would be the first criteria. But, that should not remain as just that. You should see under one's skin.

Like I was telling Mak Cik 2 how my skin has not been behaving accordingly, damn these acne. She simply say, "Oh yeah, tak perasan". And I thought, this girl must have seen me more than the outside. She sees me as Nadrah, not Jane. Not the girl who drives her mother's super big ass car, or the girl who wears a certain hair-do. I must say Makcik 2, I was flattered.

I wonder when one utters the word Jane (Nadrah) to you, what comes to your mind first?

So, have you seen me for who I am within just yet?

* Just the other day I drove my brother to the shop, and I felt how this place is getting old and how my feelings are worn out towards this place. I just felt like running away, find something new. But I drove passed by there again today, and it feels just exactly like the first time I was driven down the streets more than a decade ago. When the streets were being developed. I felt that 'new', strange, wonderful feeling I felt back when I was 5/6. Maybe this is what it feels like when someone says that he/she feels brand new.