Thursday, September 18, 2008

Between everything there lies,

Pragmatic (functional) truth.

Have you ever had those days where you feel like strangling the person who just does not listen what are you trying to say? I mean, both of you do not see eye to eye, you both are not on the same page. In any case, this often happens in an intimate relationship. The little arguments over tiny issues that would lead to a rowdy tension?

Your girlfriend would kill you because you went out for drinks with a couple of girl friends from work simply because she's possessive. But to her, it is because you too, are possessive of her. Why not be equal then?

On a lighter note, your girlfriend is insecure because you're charming with the girls and even if they had their own partners, flings are usually harmless nay? You too would not want your girl to have flings with other boys. Hence, one day over dinner, she expresses her dissatisfaction through her subtle non-verbal gestures and cynical statements. You get the hint. You blow your angst disproportionately.

Maka dengan itu, terciptalah perbalahan kata. Jikalau di antara kamu bertuah, mungkin terjadinya kelakuan kasar seperti perkataan-perkataan kesat atau intonasi yang tidak menyenangkan.

It is tough when both of the parties aren't being rational and "adult" over the discomfort agruments. I mean, sure an arguement is healthy. But it really would not go anywhere when both insist on getting their point as THE truthful one. It wouldn't go anywhere if you would want the absolute truth, and not the truth.

I mean, come one. Let's face it. Everything in this world is beautifully (and sometimes despressingly) subjective. Say you are going to point A from home. I'm sure there are many routes to it. And when you really think about it, these routes aren't much different. But why, why would you want to use the route that you have chosen?

Similarly, a subject is approached differently by various individuals. In our intimate relationship case, the boyfriend believes of his pragmatic truth whereas the girlfriend too, believes in her pragmatic truth. But their truths are varied at some point due to many factors that have been influencing their lives.

No matter how much swear words you throw to your partner, no matter how many stuffs you throw at him/her, no matter how much time you spend trying to sense him/her with your point, it would not work if your partner has insisted on his/her pragmatic truth.

It might probably work, if both stand on neutral grounds. Listen openly, evaluate, then find mutual grounds. Work from there.

Likewise with what's happening, the P.M might see its best for him to put divisions his original jobs with his D.P.M. But some might just not like it, because it's simply absurd. Some (like Little Miss Seputeh) might see that the volume of the Azan is a little too loud.

Some might see Julius Caesar as a tyrant, and decided to kill him in the Senate itself.

You see, you and I, just like these public figures and politicians are just people who are holding close to their pragmatic truth, to their functional truth. The question of whether it is right or wrong, also, is subjective. The norm says its wrong but some other norm might say it is right.

Pragmatic (functional) truth.

It is easy to speak our own words attached even with the slightest influenced of one's own functional truth. It is easy to judge others' doings that are based on their functional truth.
But what is not easy is to not be bias. You and I are bias even at the slightest bit. We say words align with our pragmatic truth, even if it goes or does not go with the norm.

Maka dengan itu, di dalam hubungan percintaan kamu, janganlah keras kepala dengan harapan dapat menerangkan secara rasional tentang ulasan kamu terhadap si dia. Tidak akan ke mana-mana pun. Aku sarankan, diam sahaja dan senyum. Terangkan keresahan anda dan berharap dia menelannya dengan matang, dan jikalau dia mahu bertengkar juga, padamkan telefon kamu. Dunia ni ramai lagi lelaki dan perempuan.

Then again, we live beautifully with flavors.


Che Eduardo said...

1. Are you trying to sent a message to a special someone, my dear Jane?

2. The practical consequences of truth.. Which is why many of us lie? Instead of voicing out your inability to tolerate something; would it be healthier to just lie about it and be happy?

3. My sis has been saying that I'm pushing my opinions on my sick father. I'm not sure what she meant; but am I being pragmatic when I said to him that it's maybe time to retire?

4. Little Miss Seputeh, the Old Klang Road Wet Market misses you..


aewan6 said...



Jumping Jane. said...

Nombor 1. I don't have that special someone. Well, he's out there but I don't think he notices or acknowledges me the way like I do. EHEM.

2. Haha, white lies. If one lies, and believes that it is right.. Well, I guess he has the rights to do so. But the question of it is right or not, then its a different story. But then again, if one lies on a very serious basis, i.e: murder (bombing - lol) or sex scandal and it could jeopardize the country, bawak diorang pergi supreme court lah.

3. You are merely voicing out your opinion, maybe being pragmatic as well. You do believe that he should rest especially with his sorry condition, kan? But he believes he is doing well.

4. Saya nak makan kueh teow.

HAHA. Terasa sila terasa! Saya pemerhati orangnya. Ehem.

Monkey D Luffy said...

Cinta memang memeningkan

Che Eduardo said...

Nombor 1. I don't have that special someone. Well, he's out there but I don't think he notices or acknowledges me the way like I do. EHEM.

Ini masalah namanya, cik adik oi.. Take it from me; I'm still clapping alone here..


lala g* said...

haaaa aku pun terasa baca post ni. i know, maybe im like "motherly" nak bandingkan dgn you and the other friends but the truth is im a big baby. sangat, sangat x matang ;(

Jumping Jane. said...

monyet dari one piece,
eh anime betul kan? anyway, cinta memang memeningkan. tetapi apa kan daya, semua orang harus hidup berasaskan cinta. mahupun cinta akan agama, negara, mahupun insan-insan yang lain.

mari kita bertepuk satu tangan. masalah ke? saya taknak buatkan ia masalah lagi lah. let go of it. :)

haha, seperti komen di atas, "cinta memang memeningkan". tapi tak apa kot laa? aku pun sama je dulu. sekarang saya single, lebih mudah. tiada perbalahan kata. hanya perbalahan minda serta kolej. adoi.

acid rain said...

well, people do live in their simulacra shaped through the simulacrum. we do know discord happens when desires are overriding the methods so really, i just couldn't disagree that human psyche sometimes is too complex eh?

btw that's a good script on the cure in cancer of malay relationships hehe..

Jumping Jane. said...

acid rain,
haha malay relationships? eh your jargons are too jargony. boleh pengsan untuk memahami, kamus terlalu tebal dan berat untuk diangkati.