Thursday, July 24, 2008

Chasing People,

No no, not in a stalkerish manner. In a proper manner of course.

I was well, going through pictures of my friends with the boyfriends. The boyfriends and the girlfriends. The one having another crush on the other person. Ehem. And simply, the people around you, your friends and your family - reference group.

At first glance of course you wouldn't see what's in it for these two people. How can their worlds collide? On what gravity and force did they become united? Take the perspective of love. Yes I know, I have done the whole case study on mating preferences and the whole Darwin theory of reproduction, and no aku tak puas hati dengan the finding.

Think of it. Well its undeniable that there are many approaches to this subject, physical entity, rationale, spiritual, and the whole majesty abstract "it's destined" bull but yeah, this is from my perspective of course, bare in mind.

If you're with someone, on what basis are you with that particular someone?

I mean, is that person similar to you? Because from what I've read over and over again, similarity is the key of an interpersonal relationship.

But then again, what exactly is the definition of similarity? Like many things, there are many different approaches and degrees in a matter. Likewise, which degree do you want to perceive your relationship? Or rather, at what degree would it be appropriate to perceive the similarity in the relationship?

Physical, abstract. Body, mind. Mind, soul.

The physical approach alone has so many classifications. Its the order in life whether you like it or not, people perceive things in classes, that's what make things easy to remember. So anyway, physical similarities, it could be your height, skin color, appearances - whether you follow the latest trends or dyed hair or accessories or tattoos and such.

Abstract however, it goes to a different perspective. From your mere views on why Biology and not Chemistry or why Add Maths and not Modern Maths. You know the whole philosophy of life and your arguments on that Ultimate Being above there, whether He exists or otherwise. Or your present and future goals in life.

Really, when you are with someone, what do you see in your partner? Don't tell me they're just mere sparks because really, it just doesn't make sense for these single eyes.

I mean, on what criteria, basis, notion do you want to be with someone? Even friends. On what basis do you people grow fonder?

I have talked about self-concept, how you perceive yourself. Basically these mere self perceptions have the drive on how you perceive others and your interpersonal relationships. After all, "Esse est percipi".

If you perceive yourself as A, would your perception towards your partner be the same A on this specific issue. You know, you share common and mutual understandings on the philosophy of life and all - traditional primary relationship. Your other half.

Or would you respect your partner's philosophical views on life, and maintain your philosophical views. Grow from it, discuss about it. Sure you guys would lead to heated conversations, but you know, you learn from that, you argue but its constructive - independent primary relationship. Your significant other.

Bebe (Kido) because we see things eye to eye, not everything but important ones - the little sister I never had. I have LipGloss, what made us close? The verge of stepping into the teenage world, being 13? I have Paperbag, well that's cause we have our occasional life talks. Flabs, because they're crazy bunch of kids in college.

Pinknerd? Because she stole my identity, lol.

So my dears, how do you perceive your interpersonal relationships, be it your parents, your friends or your partner? Tell me how did your two worlds collide? Which force brought you two connected?

Did destiny or life itself brought you two on the same track? Or was it the body or the mind force?

At the end of the day, its chasing a person when the two are not even walking. Should I start with a "Hello Mr.Yellow"?


pinknerd said...

hahahahahaahahahahha, i had a good 5 minutes laugh when i saw what i saw.

The Net 3.0 ladies, and gentlemen (and she stole mine)

nak gaduh?


well, to me, similarities are the key to spark a chemistry in the earliest stage -as in the beginning OF the very beginning, because naturally, similarities help people create a ring which they can be comfortable in; in other sense of the word, you can't judge me because you're exactly like me, know what i mean? but as things progress, people seek for differences, because as similarities grow boring, clashes make life interesting which is why, at the end of the day, you often find couples perceiving themselves as 'opposites.'

if looked closer, however, we're all practically the same. and honestly that's not very surprising considering i still believe it is similarities that bring people together. not differences.

or maybe we're all just confused.

Jumping Jane. said...

haha actually, you're quite right. people are similar with each other yes, and they differ at few points too. Like I said, which area do are you similar and different in?

first as they said, they shy away their differences. they want to be accepted by their objects of affections. hence, perceiving similarities.

but as days grow older, true colors begin to shine, that's when spices heat up. differences. the "acceptances" which might be forced, blinded.. and rather flawed due to affections fall away. true colors keluar lah, differences shown.

but you know, people stay for the better. we work for the better.

i still need to say hello! Mr.Darcy is awesome, and officially Ben is Mr.Yellow, and Mr.Yellow is similar to Mr.Darcy whom is my new object of affection. Make haste Jane, say hello.


pinknerd said...

as jack almost always greet me over the phone when he's feeling playful: hello yellow?

make haste jane, say hello.