Sunday, November 16, 2008

A hundred million suns.

All or nothing policy.

I guess at some point, we would have to accept that Love is indeed one of the foundations in life. You know, the one that would light your world like a hundred million suns. But that's just it, peers and friends kept telling me tales of their love lives. They are good and all, of course.

But sometimes you know, it's just different when you are the one listening to all the stories. You get the view from afar, you get to munch on your popcorn and enjoy the drama. Because you aren't exactly the actors on the stage.

When lovers leave, they somehow leave these little stains that even the strongest chemical like Mr. Muscle would not wipe them off. Even if they fade, there are that stubborn spots that are still there. But you know, you learn from there. Lovers, they teach you how to love.

The tendency of people to mix the pot between Love and Life, is very high. You know, the whole 'exclusive dating' and getting serious and shit. As far as I have heard, and learned perhaps, the definitions of 'exclusive dating' tend to be distorted along the way. Of course, if we put subjectivity in definitions differ. But generally, the definitions of 'exclusive dating' are pretty similar. For instance, a partner should not cheat. However, young lovers and maybe the aged lovers tend to distort the definitions of exclusivity.

Its bad enough when a lover lives his life for you and you live your own life.

I guess people seem to forget that lovers complement each other, they are that supplementary vitamins a person should consume and feed onto. Lovers by all means are not the one that you should be living for, but should be living with.

See how people tend to mix between living for and living with? People tend to combine 'teaching their lovers how to live right' and 'teaching their lovers how to live'. I mean, you can advice your lover, but definitely not dictate him/her. The choice is always his/hers. Unless if you're talking about a mutual thing that you share. His life is his, her life is hers.

And your life together, well that's just a mutual ground much like whatever properties/things you buy together, say if you file a divorce, they are not exactly 'our mutual grounds' anymore. Lovers fight against each other for the once upon time 'mutual grounds'. Trying to separate what are hers, and what are his. Now, put your own life to respective places.

When lovers leave, at the end of the day, you fight for your own life back. You struggle.

Peguambela? once wrote, "A guy should never make his girl to choose", and boy was he right. Well, that implies to a girl as well, a girl should never make her man choose.

I mean, its not like you people are married or anything right? Commitments are fine, but excessive commitments like having to choose between his future and you, well, let's just take a look again and make a wise decision okay?

So dear sayangs whoever that have spilled your hearts to me - you know who you people are, hang in there. Look, ponder and think okay? I'm no doctor love, but I hope this helps.


Peguambela? said...

There a somethings you wrote today that are very true, Jane:

But generally, the definitions of 'exclusive dating' are pretty similar. For instance, a partner should not cheat.
I learn to trust her; even if I don't trust the guy who is her friend. I mean she's kms away; I got to hold on to something right..

Its bad enough when a lover lives his life for you and you live your own life.
I sort of get this idea all the time; but heck it, I chose a girl who can keep herself occupied.

Sarah said...

that's a nice one babe. :))

Jumping Jane. said...

P, where exactly is your famous sayang eh? I need juicy details lah. Haha.

S, terima kasih! :) Kita lifeless, I kena buat my forum. Zzz

Anonymous said...

I don't think there's anyone who would actually agree towards having excessive commitment when in a relationship. However, when you come to being 22+ of age, you try to find a relationship that last, not something you can flaunt at people, or something to make yourself feel good. Therefore, ultimatums are sometimes required to see how far a relationship would go.

In my opinion, the term bf/gf is completely meaningless. People are wasting their time trying to heal some relationships there are meant to be broken anyways. After all, if Jodoh is out there for us, why the need for relationships? Aren't we encouraging ourselves to make our own excessive commitment when we should just be casually dating instead? There should never be any strings attached on anything that is not certain. It's just today's world where everything is hyped up to a whole new level, for no reason at all.

Jumping Jane. said...

Hah, you know I don't think anyone would agree to excessive commitments. That's the thing, it just happens naturally. I mean, you don't want it, but yet its happening. Well, in your case, at the age of 22, you should be wondering when you're supposed to earn cold hard cash and bills, and when is your akad nikah gonna be right? So I guess you have to look for something serious.

And yes, I think so too. People are just wasting time healing things, sorting things out when they could be out there living their own lives. And search for that significant essences instead of narrowing it down to the 'Love' perspective and find the significance of life through 'Love'. I mean, kena diversify lah kan?

And casual dating, and all.. I guess it all happens naturally. Wait for a thing to lead to another.